My heart

I want to throw away everything and run away now, I’ll give up everything.  I feel so differently about this, it’s not a normal like-like situation, it’s something stronger.  I haven’t felt this in years.  I’m 100% sure.

Love

I feel like I am in love, but why am I so scared to express it?  When I express it, I feel embarrassed, why is this?

 

I don’t want to let go, I want to hold on forever.

Sock Sunday

I wear mixed matched socks

to forget

the ball of lost, hiding under bed

They come in packs of three

All monochrome, see?

***

The deepest memory does not go to history, but a strength. That memory does not result in some past, but in an exuberant now. That there is no center of meaning, values ​​or truth means there can’t be made an absolute difference between truth and illusion.

The mass media only survive by the grace of the public that believes in an underlying source of truth and power. This means that the media must persist the suggestion that they have access to a core that’s long gone. In order to disguise this fact they produce more and more media images and fillers to drown out that there is no longer a sender of the messages they distribute. This chatter can only survive as the new opium of the people; the altar candles have been replaced by the flickering of the TV. It replaces the evangely, the good message, with disevangely, the bad news, the disaster, scandal and failure. Such infection has become more likely since the media of today go at full speed, producing a newscandal almost every month to whip up and stupify the people. The issues of the day are as an addictive drug that surpresses the pain of being; with potential, dangerous side effects. It’s wise to withdraw from this drug, a separation from the infusion that we call media.

Then try to fail harder. Do not be tempted by a rational argument trying to distrust, humble or efface yourself, to think in comparison and envy.

The thinking of modernity is all about time, in fact, the 19th and 20th centuries centuries worships time, chronos, where space must be the central topic of thought. Space to create, the place, living, being together…Everyone is in the world – every human being has always been in a sphere. The atmosphere was there before man, while man is basically a builder of spheres. The atmosphere is both a physical and an emotional-spirtual space.

The consciousness of variability, is maybe the most human.

***

Everything here is always constant at the moment, in a frantic state of change, a process to adopt a passed form. Some live an empty page just because they are constantly changing and never remain who they were one second ago. In that way they’re constantly in love with who is actually no more, like a name of someone they’ve heard in the wind.

Lain Iwakura:

“People only have substance within the memories of other people. And that’s why there were all kinds of mes. There weren’t a lot of mes per se, I was just inside all sorts of people, that’s all.”

“No matter where you go, everyone’s connected.”

***

I’ve discovered I suck as a writer, because I doubt about the importance of everything – especially when I want to write something. But there she was, helping me to discover importance.    

AOAOAOAAAA

NADESHIKO

NADESHIKO EXPLANATION

fuckass

This is just a bad essay about me and my life that I threw together.  This is how I see myself, but I am very interested in knowing how others see me as well.  I like knowing true opinions, bad and good.  I never get mad at opinionated statements or how other people perceive me.  I look fat in these jeans?  Thank you for your comment, would you like me to change?

What is it about the Internet that makes me feel so comfortable?  I am unable to socialize, have very few friends, and am pretty much a failure.  This changes when I am online, though.  Online, I am an artist, a healer, an entertainer, a philosopher, successful.

I have a problem with living in my fantasy life, and not wanting to come out.  My fantasy life is filled with reality, it’s nothing crazy.  It’s just that I surround myself with my online friends and my online life.  I don’t pay attention or try in my real life anymore.  I find it useless.  To read a whole essay about my life so far, list of “symptoms” I suffer, and pros and cons of the Internet on my life, read more.

unt

NADESHIKO”S DAY

WAKING UP

LETTING MY DOG RUN FREELY

BREAKFAST

CHAT

HYGIENE

YOUTUBE

WHAT the hell

SKOIPE

SILLY

 

NADESHIKO’S START OF CONTEMPLATION

NADESHIKO

That is a picture of me in Akihabara in Japan.  I really like Japan, because of just about everything.  The transportation methods, culture, fashion, etc.  I was born in Japan, Japanese was my first language, and I am half Japanese.  I would like to live there in the future.  I have a dual citizenship, so I can either choose Japan or America.  I’m still torn between the two.  I grew up more in America, but am more attached to Japan.  Which do I choose?  What should I consider before choosing?  What makes something more special than the other?  I was raised in America for 2/3 of my life and Japan for only 1/3, but I am still more attached to Japan.  Does it seem more ideal?

 

I will post more after I have thought more.  I am now in a contemplative state.

wha